Margret Rose ...

Who is Margret Rose?

Margret Rose is a outstanding lady who am honoured to call my Nana, and she yesterday she turned the grand old age of 80th.

It's har dot put down in words the love I feel for this woman, because I feel like it will never truly give her character justice but I'll give it ago ..

Full of laughter and joy Margret Rose always wears a smile as her best accessory, she the rock to are family, theres not a bad word to be said about her, I don't even think she has a bad bone in her body because she always sees the very best in everyone. She's the woman who has made me who I am today but she is no longer the person she once was.

Saddly Margret Rose is one of the 850,000 in the people in the UK affected by dementia.

About 5 years ago she was first diagnosed with dementia, at first she was still her normal self, you wouldn't even notice that anything was wrong with her and you could just put her slight forgetfulness down to her age.

She just took it on the chin and made light of the matter, so much so that when during her appointment the doctor asked her to write a question, and her quick thinking and wit did not fail her she simple asked "How I'am I doing doc". Still over the next 3 years she seemed to be doing just fine, at times it felt like there was nothing wrong and she was just the person she had always been.

Still telling us her endless stories about the days when she worked in the co-op, petter the budgie and my favourite stories of how her and my Granddad met while both taking piano lessons.

But now we know that this was just an act, yes for some reason like most people who are unwell Margret Rose was very good at putting on a front, pretending that all was well, it wasn't until we had to look after my Nana following my Granddads hip operation that we, as a family realised just how much things had progressed.

Guilt was the first emotion I felt, guilt that we as a family had not noticed this, guilt that we had not supported my Granddad as much as we could of, guilt just guilt I was angry at myself, this beautiful lady who I thought of as a family treasure, I might as well of neglected.

After this it feel like everything just spirreled out of control.

Today on her 80th birthday I sat in the living room at my auntie and uncles gazing over at Margret Rose, and realised how destructive this condition is, she didn't even know it was her birthday and to add to the confusion when we sang happy birthday to her she joined in then appeared the get angry with herself when she realised that we were all sining for her.

It's like looking at her in 'The Mirror of Erised' (yes a Harry Potter reference), a perfect reflection of the woman who means so much to me but she's not there in reality.

And I suddenly realised today that I can't remember the last time she called me by my name, it seems like such a small thing but unless you have gone through this yourself then you won't truly understand, there is no cure for her, slowly at first and now more rapidly, her memory is just fading away, uncontrollable being erased. But dementia doesn't just take ones memory away, you lose the ability to carry out simple day to day tasks.

But what I think the most devastating part about this disease is the short moment when she come back to us, when she suddenly remembers something from little task like taking the tea cups out of the room to being able to sing almost every word to 'you raise me up', for a moment we have are Margret rose back and in the blink of an eye she is gone again.